Marion,
While it is sad that it took you so long, your ex has a disease and until he comes to grip with his problem he will remain the same or get worse.
It is good that you are on your own now, out of the violent situation. In time you will have a normal and fulfilling life. Maybe sometime he will straighten himself out, but in the meantime you are free of the abuses. I wish you luck with your future.

Dear Marion,

I feel your pain.

Why don't start a blog and share your thoughts and experiences to unhappy women who are searching for a place to start their life again? Use your emotions to bring out a good blogger in you.

Hold on to God. Pray the rosary. Try to forgive yourself and open your heart again. That's the only way you can find the missing pieces in your life.

Good luck.

I left my husband after 25 years of violent physical and mental abuse. I was so used to him and his alcoholism and often ''cherished the good moments'' with him. I slowly began changing my life behind his back sometimes and other times to convince him the changes would be beneficial for the both of us. I also started journeling his behavior, the late hours he would come home from the bar after work and his behavior towards me. I did not hate him after I left the marriage, in fact I missed him and hated myself for leaving him. I thought I hated him near the end, I couldn't stand to look at him, but it was just my frustration and resentment for him for treating me with no respect . I even lived with him for five more months before I even told him that I did not cancel the divorce, I showed up for court and went through with it. He would'nt have anything to do with me after that and I FELT SO GUILTY for as he puts it ' you broke my heart, I had you on a pedestal'. Soon after I made several unsuccesful attempts to explain to him that things were so bad at home I couldn't take it any longer. It has been over a year now and I find that I am not used too this peace and quiet, Im only used to chaos and slamming doors, yelling, pushing and being spit at. How in the world could I miss a man like this? I was so used to him and addicted to the good things he would do and how special he would make me feel when he wasn't in his rages. I was just as sick as him and I stayed too long holding onto hope that things would change because he loved me so much and I was crazy over him. He was such a charmer as most batterers are and it wasn't until he had my heart did the first day of my abuse begin. I am healing now or at least I am trying too through therapy. I fell into a terrible depression after it was 'REALLY OVER',I felt I couldn't l imagine my life without him and maybe I made a mistake by divorcing him. I now realize that my inner self, my inner child child maybe saved me, came to my rescue or all the good changes I had made for myself, getting training for a good job, getting more child support from him through the courts while we were only separated at the time even though I would end up back with him all the time. All these things I did before it was over. Things are changing for me every day now, I am learning to take care of me after years of obsessing over someone elses behavior, but I have a long way to go. I have to let go of it and it's very hard though to many it should be the easiest thing in the world to do, it's not. Its a journey Iam on that is so unfamiar and strange for me, a life without 'HIM'. but I get up every day and Im breathing and hoping that today will be better than yesterday and there will be a happy ending to my life. I have a hope for myself now and not a hope that someone else will change or stop drinking and stop his rage and stop abusing me and on and on and on. Hope is what gives you more hope and I have to hold onto this and just take care of me now, real good care of me, and not feel the need for a man just a need for myself to be a good human being, to be everything I was supposed to be before this madness fell into my lap and move on. Let the journey begin...

Dear Abby,

Sorry to know about your situation.

Try seeking help from Gabriela, a women's group here in the Philippines. Maybe they can do something with your problem. RA 9262 (Anti-Violence Against Women and Children Act) protects battered women in our country.

Help end violence against women by coming out. Know your rights.

Best regards,

Laila*

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Hello, Belive it or not there are alot of women that are in the same boat,and worse.Forgive the spelling.I am one and didn't know it till I started to read about battered wife syndrom.I have been with my husband for 17 years the last 5 we have been married.I just thought it was my fault that he would get drunk and vilont.He always said that when I made him mad.It was always my fault.I have tried not to make him mad.It's like walking on egg shells and tring not to break them. Why I stay with him there are alot of reasons. But I have been thinking that maybe it's time to hang it up.We woman have a heard time giving up on a marriage,it makes us feel like a failure. Your site is great .Thank you.

Im saddened by this story, lam mo, husband like him has no place in this world to live.and Im so sure that the story you wrote are just excerpts from the true story that is really happening with them that you just cant see. The fact that he did that samurai issue, my goodness,dapat kinulong na yun. Im sure he has so many hang-ups in life or most probably he is a drug addict..or maybe he needs professional help.You know normal people would not dp such things!!! Galit ako sa ganyan. Dapat sa kanila, binabaon ng buhay, kesa ang sariling familia pa nila mapatay nila.

Hello po...I'm a college student of Palawan State University..I learned a lot of things here......THanks....Someday,,,Im hoping to find the right guy for me di ba....yung mabait.... siyempre....thank you po uli...and more power....

hello po. student po ako sa palawan state university. we have a research about the battered wife. thank you for this site. nakakaawa talaga ang mga battered wife. sana may magandang batas na maipasa for the protection of the "LIGHT OF THE HOME". again, thank you and more power....

hello po. student po ako sa palawan state university. we have a research about the battered wife. thank you for this site. nakakaawa talaga ang mga battered wife. sana may magandang batas na maipasa for the protection of the "LIGHT OF THE HOME". again, thank you and more power....

Elow po... im a 4th yr. student from Lourdes! I have a project po kz sa English bout this thing "Battered Wife" napadaan po ako sa site nyo and i found a lot of things... damn, this site is good po ate and kuya! i learn some important things about life... and pag ako naging daddy someday i promise you that i will be a good one.. hehehe! not just a good dad but surely a good husband! tynx po! by the way im jhazztin, M, 15, q.c.
pa add na din po sa friendsturr: jhazztin@hellokitty.com
2nd acct. ko na yan! hehehe! ty po... and more powers! lab yu guyz!

Hi! Im a student of Ateneo de Zamboanga University and I visited your site to get some informations about battered wife. This topic has been assigned to my group in our Filipino class. I would appreciate it much if you could help me by answering some of my questions in your own opinion.
Here are some of them:

1.) Why do you think a man does these things to his wife? What might be some of the possible reasons? Are these more important for that man than their marriage, love or children?
2.) Why does a battered wife continue to tolerate such treatment? What might be some of the possible reasons why she endures such a condition? Does she try to find solutions by talking to her husband or anything similar?
3.) What might be the effects of this on the marriage, children and the individual?
4.) What do you think should they do to resolve the problem? Do you know of someone who hurts his wife in the past then changed? How did he undergo the change?
5.) What laws do you know of that protects these battered wife in the Philippines?

Thanks. I hope I get a reply for this. More power!

Your sister would do well to get away from him for good and to keep her son away from him forever unless he straightens up. He will teach their sons many bad habits that will break her heart when she watches them do the same types of things to other women when they grow up . . . .